Lost in His Presence

As King David wrote “my heart and my flesh cry out for the presence of the living God”.

My heart and my flesh cry out to be in the Presence of My God.
There are some days that everything within me wants to just hang out with God for the day.
Put everything else aside and be lost in His presence, to hide under His big wings, to journey
with Him into the deeper places of who He is.
Sometimes the busyness of life frustrates me I just want a simple life where I can get lost with
God often and for long periods of time. To be lost in His presence in worship, in the word, in the quiet
stillness of the moment.

Sometimes I wonder what it was like for Adam and Eve just to stroll the Garden chatting with God.
What did they talk about, the peace, the joy, the laughter that you would of heard when they were
together. The fun that would have been had, from God came joy, laughter and dancing.
He would have been fun to hang around. I bet it was Adam and Eves favourite time of day.

I know the moments I get to have with God are some of my favourite moments ever. It’s worth clearing
the schedule to make time for my quiet time.
My heart and my flesh cry out for more, more, more of you God.

ONLY IMAGINE!!

ONLY IMAGINE!!!!!!!!!!!
To imagine, to dream, to dance, to play, to sing all the qualities we love our children having are all the qualities we should have as we grow older, to lose these qualities is to lose our child likeness.
To come to the Father we need to come as little children. These qualities also bring an extra level of joy that many of us live our life without because we spend too much time in the reality of what is instead of enjoying the ability of dreaming to what could be.
As a mother some of my most favourite moments are spent watching my girls transform their surroundings into another land, a place of make believe a place of dreaming a place of being somebody else.
A place where princesses have tea parties, where ice skating happens in all seasons, a place of wonder and imagination. Where you can be anybody you dare to dream of being and nobody tells you that it can’t be.
When was the last time you dreamed of being who you really want to be. A world changer, a mother, a missionary, an artist, a book writer, a dancer whomever it is. When was the last time you dared to dream big enough that only God could fulfil your dreams.
When did you last dream of seeing the blind see, the lame walk, miracles of every type happening around you and through you. Dreaming of bringing words in season that changed people lives.
I dream of being a writer with the written word revealing the Father and Jesus, with the written word bringing life and hope and joy to broken lives. To be one who would touch the hearts of the broken and administer life and hope. To show love to the unloved. Through the spoken word bring hope, to lead people to their creator so they can find peace. I dream of raising world changing girls, I dream of living long and loving much. I have many dreams but through life have let the circumstances dictate to me rather than raising my eyes to the Lord and letting him bring my dreams to pass. But I am learning once again to be childlike and spend time imagining what could be what will be.
We all have greatness within us, we just need to be BRAVE and let it out!!
Don’t be cast down, don’t let your circumstances dictate your life, dream, imagine, play, dance, sing become childlike and dependent on the Father and see what shape your life will take. BE BRAVE!!

From the darkness there came a light it’s name was HOPE!!

Psalm 71:14
But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more.
15. My mouth shall tell of Your righteous acts and of Your deeds of salvation all the day, for
their number is more than I know.
16. I will come in the strength and with the mighty acts of the Lord God I will mention and praise
Your righteousness, even Yours alone.

Hope Hope Hope

When darkness is swirling around me and I can’t seem to lift my head to see out it’s only God
who can turn the darkness in my life to light, through the darkness of a mind too busy to see or hear
correctly it was the light of God that stilled my busy mind, with the light of Hope the darkness had to flee.

In my hope I will praise Him. For my hope is in Him. Only God can break through into my life and make
me a new creation, make me pure and lovely. Only He can change my life that would only seem filled with confusion
and place order back there.

It was for freedom I was set free and free I am.
Only God can turn our darkest nights to the lightest of days.

When all seems lost and life is hard it’s only the gentles whisper of His name that brings His
Presence in like a cool breeze blowing away the heat of the day.

His presence is like the break of day, it brings clarity, it brings hope, it brings expectancy.
You breath it in and it fills your lungs with life.

With each new morning His mercies bring hope of a better day another day.
In Him only will I be found, In his mercies you will find me dancing so light heartedly.
In His grace you will see me laughing ever so joyfully.
Under His wings will I find rest and protection.
There is nothing I need that I can’t find in Him.
He is life and love itself, to live and to love is to live close to His heart.

Oh He fills me with expectancy for a good day, I would rather be found dancing in His courts
than anywhere else.
My identity is found in Him and when darkness swirls around me and life is closing
in and I find it hard to breath I whisper His name and once again He sweeps me off my feet to a distant
garden.
Where peace is found where rays of hope shimmer all around like rays of sunshine,
and in this garden there are many colours and my favourite flowers and a gentle stream flows near.
With beautiful horses drinking from the stream there coats glistening the rays of hope that surround me.
This is the perfect garden there is beauty all around for the Father knows me so well only He could make a garden to my exact taste and dreams.

oh He truly is only a whisper away.

My Son, My Son

What was that sound so deafening like the beating of a drum, looking around searching for the noise.
All around me was chaos, I could hear weeping, shouting, curses being hurled false accusations murmuring.

In my grief I was still looking for where that drum noise was coming from and than I realised it was my own
heart racing beating like a drum, so loud and than another bout of grief washed over me and once again
I collapsed on the ground in uncontrollable crying.

Deep within I felt my heart had been shattered. The stronger I tried to be brave before my son the more I could
not contain my anguish.

My son my beloved eldest son, the one God gave me the honour of baring, my beloved son was nailed to the cursed cross.
I could see that anguish and pain on His face now barely recognisable.
This isn’t what I said yes to, I have bore the Saviour of the World this is not what I want for my son my beloved son,
my precious son.

He had tried to warn me that he would suffer at the hands of the religious leaders, but this, this is not suffering
there are no words to describe what this is, this torture this treatment.

Oh my son, my son, through tears I can see he is struggling to breath. Every breath brings him great pain.

Oh I want this to be a bad dream and yet I can’t wake up. I am trying, I am trembling from head to toe.

The day Gabriel appeared before me and called me highly favoured, would I have said yes if I knew my son would exit
the world in this cruel manner.

Oh my son, my son
All of a sudden I heard him speak, he spoke to John asking him to take care of me.
Oh my son, my son.
As the fresh tears poured down my cheeks I never knew I could cry so much.
My son in his agony had still considered me and my welfare.
Oh my son.

My son was crying out once again “Father forgive them they do not know what they have done”.

How could he cry mercy for those who have taken his life, I can feel anger and hatred already welling up
in my heart. I want so bad to hurt those who hurt my son.

And than I realised it in a moment he was gone, he had breathed his last. My legs gave way from beneath
me and I tasted the dirt as I fell face to the ground and in that moment I wanted it to be my last breath too.

And than I felt strong hands lifting me to my feet, it was John. He guided me to the side under a tree to safety.
The moment my son had died the sky had grown dark and there was a quaking of the earth for He truly is the Son of God.

In that moment my heart grieved not only for my loss but for Gods. The creator of the universe, the one whom I had
heard so much about since I was a small girl, the one who called me highly favoured one, the one who asked would
I bare his son. At that moment My Son, His son was dead I grieved for both of us.

God knowing the grand plan had hope, where as I felt my hope was gone.

John held me for the longest of times as we wept together, we knew our beloved was dead.

And than in stunned silence and grief we made our way home.
I wanted to sleep and sleep, I wanted to wake up and it all had been a dream.
But sleep bought me no comfort, as I lay asleep the pictures of my son on the cross plagued my night hours.

I did not want to eat, I felt sick all the time grief had a hold on my heart and it wasn’t going anywhere.
John bless his kindness was so thoughtful and looked after me well. I could see the grief in his eyes and I knew
for my benefit he was hiding his broken heart. I knew this man loved my son so dearly.

Each day blurred into the next, many of us gathered to grieve together all of us still in a state of bewilderment.

Early one morning there was much commotion outside and than a loud knocking at the door, John headed out and He came back
announcing that Jesus body was not in the grave that He had risen. I grabbed the table to steady myself, I felt lightheaded,
I sat quickly, could this be I thought to myself, could what he said to me really be true.

Peter declared “I have to see this for myself”, Peter and John ran out the door I presumed they were heading down to Jesus tomb.

I felt a breath of hope hit my heart, could this be what Jesus had spoken of could this be the beginning of redemption for humanity.
An unexpected joy filled my heart and a peace washed over me.

What seemed like hours but I am sure it was not long at all passed. John came back “it’s true” he proclaimed “Jesus is no longer there”.
I could see hope had entered his entire being, John had a twinkle in his eye and colour in his face both he hadn’t had for days now.

It would seem everyone was talking at once, I quietly slipped away to my room.
I lay on my bed pondering in my heart the life of my son and once again I thanked God for choosing me to be
such an important part of His Sons journey. I knew that I had truly partnered with Heaven to bring redemption for all
humanity and it was done.

The Throne of Grace

I stood at the door, my heart faltering in my chest, my breath catching in my throat, dare I go in.
On the other side of this door was God seating on His throne of Grace, whispering in my ear was
that all too familiar voice saying you are not worthy, enter through that door and you may not live.

I stood there at that door for what seemed like forever, the door was open so inviting, I took a deep breath
willing myself to gather my courage and enter, lost in my thoughts I didn’t notice someone approaching the open door
from the inside until standing in the door was my beloved Jesus.

Calling me by name startling me out of my thoughts and internal battle, hearing Him call my name brought me to tears of joy
and awe. “Why are you standing out here” Jesus asked although He knew. “Oh ah well I feel so unworthy to enter to come
so boldly into your Throne room” I cried. I didn’t mean to just blurt it out but Jesus knew, I could tell His eyes twinkled
with a love that touched the deepest part of my heart allowing me to be truthful.

He smiled and laughed but only the kindest of laughs, a laugh that set me at ease. As He laughed my heart become light and happy.

You are always worthy to enter into my Throne room of grace because you wear me, as I looked at him with a questioning frown, I looked down
and I saw my clothes, they had changed I now was wearing a glistening beautiful white gown fit for a princess and I realised I was clothed with His righteousness it was so white I couldn’t look at it for long because it seems to shine like a diamond in the sun so radiant.

Now I smiled because I knew what He meant. He put out His arm to me and said why don’t I escort you in to my throne room, there is a
dance floor right up front my father would like to see his daughter dance.

I drew in a deep breath floated through the doorway barely touching the ground, the joy that had welled up in my heart made me feel like I was flying.

Give it all you got!!!!!!!!!!! Be uniquely you!!!!!!!!!! Love yourself your amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

Give it all you got!!

People often say life is for the living!!

I say life is for the living, but what is truly living looks different to everybody.

Our hopes and dreams are so different, our fears, our failures, our defeat our victory, they are all so different.

What is a dream holiday to one is not to another. We tend to think we should all like the same thing.

But I think we should celebrate our differences, we should celebrate how unique each one of us truly is.

We all however are made in the image of God, we all have eternity set in our heart, how we chose to respond to this is up
to us.
We all walk a different journey with God some creative, some quietly, some loud, I can just see Father God smiling
on us know saying “Oh I just love how different they all are, they keep me entertained for always, I can’t stop
celebrating how amazing each one of them is in their own particular way, they all show different aspects of me”

I love it each person is to be celebrated!!!

Spring time has come!

My Springtime has finally come Lord.
You know its my favourite season.
Lord it has been far too long since
I have experienced your spring.

Many days I have longed for the warmth of the Spring sun
The colour that spring brings with it's flowers
the colour only you can bring into my life.

With spring comes newness of life,
it's a time of renewed hope,
a time to dream again

But even through my long winter you were my hope Lord

In every season that I live in, the hope of my heart is you.

It's your presence that kept me warm on the coldest of winter nights
When the night seem to close in all around me and I found it hard to find hope at all
but you God would always show up at that very moment and with you come your peace.

Your presence Lord melts away the ice that forms around my heart in the cold of winter.

Because you are the author of life and you have set the seasons and timing of my life
When I don't understand my heart declares I will trust in you my God

You are the King the Lord, King of the Angel Armies, you are the one who fights for me.
One word from you Lord and my seasons change, You alone Lord are my Hope.

You have a gift it is called TODAY!!

My spirit leaps as I awaken to another day, not just another day but my day, my day to make a difference in the life of another, my day to bring joy to another, my day to dream for myself and my family, my day to trust what God is doing for today, to let go of the anxiety of tomorrow and just focus on today.

To love today, to be loved today, to laugh today, to enjoy my morning coffee with my husband, another day to be equipped by Holy Spirit for God’s purposes, another day where I can carry His presence into the world and change atmospheres and bring God encounters to other people. I have today, it is God’s present to me. Each day His mercies are new toward me, each day His grace is sufficient for every circumstance. Today I will not get to the end of His love for me.

Today is a day for all hope to be restored in every area of my life. Today is a day of healing for whatever need His touch. Truly everyday is an adventure waiting to unfold. Today I make a stand to be salt and light. Today I learn to open my heart and love a little more, today I learn to walk in more compassion than the day before. Today by loving I take back ground the enemy has stolen, today by training my child in the way she should go I plant seed for future generations. Today by walking with God I make the Father smile. Use your today to impact your future and those around you.

Trust without Borders

Recently hearing the line in a song Trust without borders.

Oh what does that really mean to me and what does it really look like for me, I pondered and had a selah moment about those words, they bring tears to my eyes. To Trust my God without borders, to stop controlling my life and to place it in His hands with my arms left wide open, oh isn’t that a place of vulnerability.

Does that mean I say whatever will be will be. No it means that I trust God actively with my life with my family, reading His word and taking what it means literally, if it says that I will lay my hands on the sick and they be healed then they will, it says if I give it will be given back to me pressed down shaken and running over then it will. If it says to place my burdens in His hands then I do.

To trust God without borders in my life is huge, To protect myself from the pains of life I have had huge control issues and yet God so lovingly and kindly has helped me let go of my life and place it in his hands.

But to Trust with no limits that is altogether scary and yet amazingly exciting all at the same time. I am far from there but this is now a place I want to go. Lord take me to the place where I can trust you with all things at all times, for past experience has showed me then the parts of my life I have entrusted you with have been blessed and looked over so lovingly and cared for, the parts of my life I have shut the door on you with have been nothing but disaster, stress and painful, Lord take my hand and help me give all I am to you for I know in the deep recess of my heart that you bring wholeness where I am broken, You bring joy for mourning and give me beauty for my ashes.

OH WHAT WOULD BECOME OF ME

Oh what oh what Lord would become of me if I do not have faith in seeing your goodness

Oh Lord in the land of the living, if I do not see your healing hand upon humanity in the here and now.

If i do not see your miracles both big and small.

 

Oh what oh what would become of me Lord if I stop looking for your plans and purposes to come to pass in my life

and in the lives of those around me.

 

Oh what oh what would become of me oh Lord if I stop extending my hand to the poor and seeking those who need a hand up in life

if I stop having compassion and think of only myself.

 

Oh what oh what would become of me if I stop seeking to know my Creator and my King,

Oh Lord don’t ever let me find out, early will I seek you and often will I ponder upon you my Lord  My King

 

Isaiah 58:10-11

Feed the hungry! Help those in trouble! Then your light will shine out from the darkness and the darkness around you shall be as bright as day.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy you with all good things and keep you healthy too and you will be like a well watered garden, like an everflowing spring.