It’s really all about him and all about me!!

The longer I live the more I learn the more I realise that it’s all about God and all about me and all about me and God.
So to make sense of that it really is all about relationship.
It’s not about fame or being known, it’s not about what church I go to or what cool group I hang out with. It’s not about the house with the white picket fence and the cool sports car in the garage. It’s not about a large bank balance.

It’s about knowing God and His direction for your life, it’s about loving God with all of me and than letting His love flow out through me. It’s about noticing the one that God would have me reach my hand out to today.

It’s about noticing the roses that smell sweetly that God created just for me. It’s about seeing the simple mercies that God sends my way everyday. It’s about seeing the God in each individual that I meet.

It’s about having a life that demonstrates I live under the rules of another kingdom, His kingdom, It’s about having a life that points directly to Him.

But at the end of it all once my life on this earth that is but a vapour ends and my life on the other side of eternity begins it’s about stepping into the embrace of the one I love and the one that loves me.

I can see it so clearly like a picture. Stepping out of my earthly suit and into my heavenly gleaming gown, that sparkles so brightly I can hardly see. And than He appears the one whom I love, with a radiant smile and eyes that twinkle with love and joy.
He takes my arm and we glide along the streets of gold that sparkle like crystals. As we walk a crowd gathers on both sides.
Leading me onto that Dance floor that seems to be made from one massive diamond it’s like dancing on a disco ball with light coming up from all different direction, oh how it will be!!!!!!

My Son, My Son

What was that sound so deafening like the beating of a drum, looking around searching for the noise.
All around me was chaos, I could hear weeping, shouting, curses being hurled false accusations murmuring.

In my grief I was still looking for where that drum noise was coming from and than I realised it was my own
heart racing beating like a drum, so loud and than another bout of grief washed over me and once again
I collapsed on the ground in uncontrollable crying.

Deep within I felt my heart had been shattered. The stronger I tried to be brave before my son the more I could
not contain my anguish.

My son my beloved eldest son, the one God gave me the honour of baring, my beloved son was nailed to the cursed cross.
I could see that anguish and pain on His face now barely recognisable.
This isn’t what I said yes to, I have bore the Saviour of the World this is not what I want for my son my beloved son,
my precious son.

He had tried to warn me that he would suffer at the hands of the religious leaders, but this, this is not suffering
there are no words to describe what this is, this torture this treatment.

Oh my son, my son, through tears I can see he is struggling to breath. Every breath brings him great pain.

Oh I want this to be a bad dream and yet I can’t wake up. I am trying, I am trembling from head to toe.

The day Gabriel appeared before me and called me highly favoured, would I have said yes if I knew my son would exit
the world in this cruel manner.

Oh my son, my son
All of a sudden I heard him speak, he spoke to John asking him to take care of me.
Oh my son, my son.
As the fresh tears poured down my cheeks I never knew I could cry so much.
My son in his agony had still considered me and my welfare.
Oh my son.

My son was crying out once again “Father forgive them they do not know what they have done”.

How could he cry mercy for those who have taken his life, I can feel anger and hatred already welling up
in my heart. I want so bad to hurt those who hurt my son.

And than I realised it in a moment he was gone, he had breathed his last. My legs gave way from beneath
me and I tasted the dirt as I fell face to the ground and in that moment I wanted it to be my last breath too.

And than I felt strong hands lifting me to my feet, it was John. He guided me to the side under a tree to safety.
The moment my son had died the sky had grown dark and there was a quaking of the earth for He truly is the Son of God.

In that moment my heart grieved not only for my loss but for Gods. The creator of the universe, the one whom I had
heard so much about since I was a small girl, the one who called me highly favoured one, the one who asked would
I bare his son. At that moment My Son, His son was dead I grieved for both of us.

God knowing the grand plan had hope, where as I felt my hope was gone.

John held me for the longest of times as we wept together, we knew our beloved was dead.

And than in stunned silence and grief we made our way home.
I wanted to sleep and sleep, I wanted to wake up and it all had been a dream.
But sleep bought me no comfort, as I lay asleep the pictures of my son on the cross plagued my night hours.

I did not want to eat, I felt sick all the time grief had a hold on my heart and it wasn’t going anywhere.
John bless his kindness was so thoughtful and looked after me well. I could see the grief in his eyes and I knew
for my benefit he was hiding his broken heart. I knew this man loved my son so dearly.

Each day blurred into the next, many of us gathered to grieve together all of us still in a state of bewilderment.

Early one morning there was much commotion outside and than a loud knocking at the door, John headed out and He came back
announcing that Jesus body was not in the grave that He had risen. I grabbed the table to steady myself, I felt lightheaded,
I sat quickly, could this be I thought to myself, could what he said to me really be true.

Peter declared “I have to see this for myself”, Peter and John ran out the door I presumed they were heading down to Jesus tomb.

I felt a breath of hope hit my heart, could this be what Jesus had spoken of could this be the beginning of redemption for humanity.
An unexpected joy filled my heart and a peace washed over me.

What seemed like hours but I am sure it was not long at all passed. John came back “it’s true” he proclaimed “Jesus is no longer there”.
I could see hope had entered his entire being, John had a twinkle in his eye and colour in his face both he hadn’t had for days now.

It would seem everyone was talking at once, I quietly slipped away to my room.
I lay on my bed pondering in my heart the life of my son and once again I thanked God for choosing me to be
such an important part of His Sons journey. I knew that I had truly partnered with Heaven to bring redemption for all
humanity and it was done.